After All, We Are All Just Human
02/01/2018
When I run groups with adolescents at a psychiatric hospital I try to teach them an important principle---As human beings we are all far more similar than we are different. They are so focused on differences in people which creates rifts and conflict. If they could just see how similar they really are and relate to each other with empathy and compassion, their lives would be so much happier and more fulfilling.
While facilitating a therapy group on the female adolescent unit I often say to them: "You and I are much more alike than you think." In their minds they're thinking, "Yeah right --you're an old gray haired man and I'm a teenage girl; there's nothing about us that is alike." Differences right? That's their focus. I then ask them to raise their hands if their response to the following questions are affirmative. "Who likes to sleep in? Who likes to hang out with friends? Who likes to watch movies? Who likes to eat ice cream? Who likes to go to an amusement park? Who likes to go to the beach? Who likes to go out to eat? Who likes when people are nice to you?" And on and on. You get the picture. As they are raising their hands in the affirmative, I am doing the same.
My mother is 85 years old. To this day one of her best and most loyal friend is 25 years younger than her---that's a whole generation! This woman was my babysitter when I was little---a few years older than me. She is much closer to my generation than to my mother's, yet she has been a life long friend of my mother. Differences or similarities?
Growing up two of my best friends were brothers born in Costa Rica and Guatamala who eventually moved to the inner city of Boston. Differences or similarities?
There is much I want to say about our social interactions everyday of our lives that impact our emotional fitness. Our relationships with people fill our activities every day and make up a majority of our waking hours. There is little we do in life that doesn't involve other people. It goes without saying that it would behoove us to make these interactions positive. I would suggest you start by stop being so judgmental of others and looking for differences but rather see in them the same hopes, dreams and desires that you have. If someone doesn't come off initially as super friendly, cut them some slack. Maybe they're having a bad day---you've never had a bad day, have you? After all, we are all just human.