Without Sadness, Happiness Does Not Compute
Something very simple for us in the United States brought my daughter Alyssa great joy amidst third world living conditions in Peru.
Many years ago I used to think that if I could just lay on the beach on a tropical island for the rest of my life I would be happy. As I have matured and experienced much of what life has to offer, I have realized that after laying on the beach for a week or so, I would be bored to death! I recognized that I needed to be challenged and feel like I was doing something worthwhile. I came to understand that work could be fulfilling since it was enabling me to learn things, develop new skills, help others and ultimately appreciate vacation time a lot more!
When I was a kid growing up Saturday was my favorite day. I didn't have to go to school but instead could wake up and watch cartoons while I ate doughnuts that my Dad often bought for us on the weekend. After having our fill of cartoons and doughnuts, my brother and I would hurry outside to play ball---baseball, football, or whatever sport was in season. It was a great life! It was interesting to me, however, that when summer came, Saturday lost its appeal. It might as well have been Monday or Tuesday or any other day for that matter because I didn't have to go to school. I could go outside and play or do whatever I wanted regardless of what day of the week it was. In essence, every day was Saturday! It was kind of ironic that after a summer of never ending Saturdays I was ready to go back to school in the fall.
Many events in life are inevitably going to be challenging. Things will happen that will lead us to be sad or disappointed. We shouldn't fear sadness or try to run from disappointment. After all it is sadness and disappointment that enable us to experience happiness. Without bitter we will not know sweet. We don't need to seek out these dysphoric emotions but should learn to become adept at choosing rational thoughts with all of life's events. Rational thoughts always lead to emotions that are appropriate and a natural part of life while irrational thoughts lead to emotions that are inappropriate and unnecessary. Emotional maturity comes from learning to choose rational thoughts during life's experiences so that we can embrace all different types of emotions.
Just like everything else we do in life, managing emotions is a skill that needs to be developed over time. As we get better at choosing rational thoughts we will not be afraid of sadness or any other emotion. We will learn to embrace all emotions and work through these events in healthy ways that will actually strengthen us.